The latest.

Ok, so we're nearing the end of March and I know I've been lagging on the posts this month. It's not because I don't have any thoughts on what's going on with Jon and I and graduate school, but its because I've had so many thoughts lately that I don't know how to even begin to write them down. And really...who wants to read my random and very scattered thoughts? All I can say is this past month I've been feeling a rising sene of panic asking myself if we are really moving to the south for the next 4-5 years. It's amazing how slow time passes by when you're waiting for something. February was a very slow month and I couldn't wait for March because March meant that we would find out where Jonathan was accepeted or declined and by then we would definitely know where we're going. I was wrong. Jonathan's application to UCSB has been "on hold" this month and as of today it still is. However, we did just find out a couple days ago that Jon's application to Northwestern was declined, which at this point in the journey only makes us glad that we are getting closer to finding out where the Lord is going to send us.

I was talking to a good friend about the anxieties and fears I've been struggling with in thinking about moving to Louisiana. She told me that Jon receiving a full ride to LSU in addition to pay to teach there is such a huge gift from God and if that's where He wants us, He has something incredible in store for us there, both individually and as a couple. She told me to look at what's been offered as the Lord's gift to us and asked me, "If someone gives you a present, are you too scared to open it?"

I believe some of the fears and anxieties Jon and I have been experiencing have been tests and the past couple months we've even had some spritual oppression. It's been about a year and a half since we started praying fervently about this decision. We knew there were not many options in California for PhD programs in Communication Studies. Being possibly thousands of miles from our best friends and families was never something we wanted...we have incredible families and absolutely adore our neices and nephews which is mainly what makes this journey so hard. And lets face it, I'm an OC city girl, not a country girl. I have anxieties about where I'm going to get my hair done outside of So Cal, let alone the South! It was only after much prayer that we knew God was calling us to do this and it wasn't solely about Jonathan getting a PhD. There was something more. Of course, him getting a PhD is the end result of graduate school and we daydream about what doors might open once he has it and what college he might be a full time Professor one day, but there's something more we know the Lord wants to do through us & teach us throughout the entire journey. It's in the whole process that we learn and grow. So right now, in this time of waiting to hear from one last college (UCSB), I am just clinging to Proverbs 16:9, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps."

That is all we want...to be in His will and go where He leads us despite our own fears and anxieties. I just want to find out where that is! We're getting very close!